November 25th: International Day to Eliminate Violence Against Women

On a crisp winter afternoon in December 1989 I was walking across the University of Waterloo campus to one of my final classes in honours mathematics and computer science. I was stopped by one of my female mates from the (now closed) Womyn’s Centre. She asked me “Have you heard the terrible news”? I had not. It was December 6th.

Over the past 26 years I have attended December 6th memorials, I have fundraised for the December 6th Toronto fund to help women escape violent husbands and I wrote and performed a spoken word piece in 2012 at the annual Toronto memorial event. It is perhaps the most significant day of remembrance of any kind to me. It struck a deeply personal chord as a woman studying in a traditionally male dominated field. And over the years I have heard from many other women that it struck a deeply personal chord with them too. When women hear of that type of massacre they tend to recoil. Being killed for being a woman is something that strikes too close to home for most, if not all, of us.

In 2012 I found out about the Counting Dead Women campaign that Karen Ingala Smith started in the UK. She started recording the names of all women suspected to have been killed by male violence. She tweeted regularly the names of these victims and documented them on her personal blog. As her work progressed she started tweeting and writing about the patterns she was seeing. In following her work I often thought “Canada should have something like this”. I googled and asked my fellow feminists and found out that there were some provincial iniatives but nothing nationally. Over this same time period I saw and supported the growing awareness of Canada’s Missing and Murdered Indigineous Women.

At the beginning of this year, after seeing some summary info about the UK 2014 list and learning of a similar new iniative in Australia I decided that instead of asking why Canada doesn’t have anything like this I would just start doing it. And so I did.

As of this writing, there are 125 women and girls on the list for 2015. That’s 125 women and girls suspected to have been killed by male violence or 1 every 2.6 days. And the summary information I have collated looks very grim. Of the 76 solved cases (where a suspect has been charged), 54% (41) of them were killed by a current or former partner and 13% (10) were killed by their sons. I have been able to identify 22 of the 125  as aboriginal. The aboriginal population in Canada represents 3.9% of the total population. On the Counting Dead Women Canada list they represent 17.6% of the total victims. There are also inexplicable geographical differences. The population of Alberta represents 11.6% of the Canadian population yet on the CDWC list they represent 26.4% of the victims. A similar disparity occurs in Saskatchewan - they represent 8% of the victims yet their provincial population is only 3.2% of the total national population. At the beginning of the new year I intend to post more detailed summary information for all of 2015 on the NL Feminists and Allies facebook page.

I see now how the work I am doing in compiling this list is the best way I can honour not only the 14 women killed on December 6, 1989 but the unrecorded numbers of women killed globally by male violence. I do this work in the hopes that such lists will be become unnecessary. And, on the 34th anniversary of the call by Latin American and Caribbean Women to declare November 25th the International Day for the Elimination of Violence Against Women, I invite you to not only contemplate the 125 Canadian women and girls on this list for 2015 but also the 1000s of women and girls facing fatal and non fatal violence both nationally and globally. And, in order to raise national awareness of femicide on #IDEVAW, on my personal twitter account I will be tweeting the names and pictures of each victim on this year’s list. I will start at 9:00 a.m. and tweet one name every 5 minutes. As of this writing the last tweet is scheduled for 7:25 p.m.

Public Consultation on Prostitution-Related Offences in Canada

The Government of Canada is seeking the public's input on the criminal law's response to adult prostitution (i.e. the sale and purchase of sexual services from persons 18 years of age or older). This online consultation is open from February 17 to March 17, 2014.

My responses are below. Please go to this link and provide your own.

--------

Consultation Questions

1. Do you think that purchasing sexual services from an adult should be a criminal offence? Should there be any exceptions? Please explain.

Comment: Purchasing sexual 'services'????? By framing this question in this way there is an implication that providing access to a bodies orifices is something that is required - like a tune up on an automobile. So yes, I think that purchasing sexual services from an adult should be a criminal offence. Sex is not a 'service'. It is a consensual act conducted *between* adults. Our society should be working actively to reduce demand by penalizing the people who regard sex with others as a service to be purchased rather than an act to be enjoyed between consenting adults.

2. Do you think that selling sexual services by an adult should be a criminal offence? Should there be any exceptions? Please explain.

Comment: No, I don't think that selling sexual services by an adult should be a criminal offence.

3. If you support allowing the sale or purchase of sexual services, what limitations should there be, if any, on where or how this can be conducted? Please explain.

Comment: There should be no limitations on the providers. By criminalization of the purchasers the providers can work with authorities to eliminate the purchasers they wish to remove from their clientele.

4. Do you think that it should be a criminal offence for a person to benefit economically from the prostitution of an adult? Should there be any exceptions? Please explain.

Comment: All pimps and brothel owners should be criminalized. Body guards should not be criminalized.

5. Are there any other comments you wish to offer to inform the Government's response to the Bedford decision?

Comment: I find it dismaying that this issue has been framed around the notion of sex=work. Any enlightened adult knows that good sex should be an act that allows mutual enjoyment. If it is reduced to 'work' then it is a sad reflection of how distant our Canadian society is from recognizing this.

6. Are you are writing on behalf of an organization? If so, please identify the organization and your title or role:

Comment:

An open letter to the University of Oregon regarding the censorship of a Women's liberation activist

To whom it may concern,

I am appalled to hear that your institution is considering not only banning Ms. Kieth to talk at your school but also that your senate is considering writing a letter of condemnation regarding her views.

The liberation of the majority female humans on this planet is far from over and has even regressed due to increased globalization and staggering human trafficking. To subvert this silenced reality for millions of females by allowing the voices of the extremely privileged few that have the resources and media at their beck and call merely cements the silent torture of every female raped in a country that allows so-called 'child brides' or allows a father to sell an owned daughter to the burgeoning sex slave industry.

If academia now pursues the milieu of those that fail to recognize the reality for millions of biological females on this planet then the state of education of our first world youth is in much dire shape than my twenty years of teaching tertiary level students has led me to believe.

Lierre Kieth has committed a constructed 'crime' consisting of questioning the validity of gender usurping biological sexual reality. Gender is a theoretical construct. Biological sex is a scientific fact.

If your institution allows a theoretical construct to erase a scientific fact, I might as well tear up my (hard earned) two science based degrees in the name of the liberation of women since your banning or condemning Ms. Kieth would in effect erase all meaning of scientific and theoretical discourse in academia.

Sincerely,

Orla Hegarty B.Math, M.A.Sc.

Letter to the Editor of The Toronto Star re: RadFemRiseUp

I am posting this on my blog. I will be writing more about this conference in the next wee while. Watch this space. It is officially out of dormancy :)

------ Dear Toronto Star,

Re: Toronto activists protest "transphobic" conference (Saturday July 6, 2013)

The organizers of the Radical Feminists gathering, RadFemRiseUp, held last weekend in Toronto, received threats of violence on the Friday night from transactivists who had managed to find out our secret location. These threats led to police presence at our newly disclosed location as well as at the park where transactivists held their own protest. This park was merely 200 meters from the new location. When police questioned the transactivists on their choice of location, they stated they lived near there. More details about this are available here:  http://bit.ly/RadFemInfiltrated. RadFemRiseUp attendees would like to thank the Metro Toronto Police for their support during what was a very disturbing time.

However, despite the severe disruption and fear experienced by all conference attendees, the event proceeded with only minor changes to the scheduling.

Labelling anybody with the term "transphobic" without providing concrete evidence clearly reveals your papers bias and sympathies. To the best of my knowledge there has been no violence or hatred directed, ever, towards trans by Radical Feminists. Maya Shlayen has never said that Rachel Ivey has damaged our reputation, and by misrepresenting Shlayen's words, you are unfairly diminishing the public perception of Radical Feminism.

In addition: by reporting, falsely, that Radical Feminism is under the auspices of Deep Green Resistance, you again reveal your papers bias and your reporters utter lack of knowledge about Feminism. If anything, the fledgling Deep Green Resistance organization arose out of Radical Feminist principles: not the other way around.

Radical Feminists are 'stuck' in second wave Feminism because we recognize that the work there is not finished. In 2013, women are quite far from being liberated. The fact that Senator Nancy Ruth spoke this week about how Toby’s law forbids females from gathering in female only spaces  is indicative of exactly how far we are from being liberated.

Gender stereotypes have worsened in my lifetime (I'm 46) and that is quite damaging to both males and females. The 'furor' surrounding baby Storm a couple of years ago is just one example of this sad reality. Claiming 'scientific validity' for genderism has been debunked by the work of scientists like Dr. Cordelia Fine.

Post-modern feminists continue to push terms like 'empowerment' when women still have precious little power despite 100+ years of Feminism. Radical Feminists continue the important and liberating work started by previous generations of feminists. We are actively seeking methods to liberate women, girls and boys from male violence, torture, and oppressive reproductive regimes around the world. True liberation for women occurs only when there is legislative and reproductive justice for women everywhere on this planet.

Sincerely,

Orla Hegarty B. Math.,  M.A.Sc.

RadFemRiseUp Attendee

Nishiyuu and the Colonialization of Feminism

As I write this, over 200 indigineous youth are arriving in our nation's capital after walking 1600 km since January 16th. The emotions I am feeling remind me strongly of those that were stirred in my adolescence when Terry Fox and the Marathon of Hope went through my hometown of Brampton in 1980.

There is something distinctly Canadian, to me, about these epic treks. I engaged in my own personal version last September on my HarvestTrek2012 tour from Vancouver to St. John's on the Trans Canada Highway.  I felt so fortunate to join history as someone who was able to take in this country, from coast to coast, in a way that few have done.  In a short space of time I was able to move from the fresh raw mountains of Canada's Rockies over to the gentle older slopes of Newfoundland. I was able to do this fairly cheaply by using a drive away service that pays you nominal costs and you get the privilege of having someone else's car. I feel quite fortunate that the conditions in my life were ripe to avail of a cross country trek in a little sports car (with an epic stereo).

This summer my plans include seeing more of this fine country by getting to Labrador. I want my Canadian explorations to be expanded vertically now that I have seen the country along the East-West highway that mimics the historical Trans Canada Railway.  I quite enjoyed seeing the rail cars beside me as I drove along this summer.  I didn't like them so much when I woke up in the middle of the night to their horn blasts (one of the perils of guerilla camping along the TCH, fyi).

The reflections I have been making since my own personal cross Canada trek are still quite muddled and today I feel a responsibility to share some of them. Specifically the ones centred around my personal passion regarding wanting to leave the world a better place rather than just the bare minimum of leaving no trace (or leaving the world a worse place). This is what the Nishiyuu walkers are doing. They are leading by example so in my small tiny way I am hoping to pay it forward with these reflections.

This focus of my 'leave the world a better place' passion allows me flexibility of interests yet also has driven me to reexamine some things that I thought were personally sorted, long ago. One of the items under cross examination at the moment is feminism. Not if I am one (I am). But what that means, for me personally, and with respect to how I wish to leave the world a better place.

I am a woman. I am well educated in a field where few women are (math, engineering) and yet I feel like a novice to the subject of feminism. To be fair, a lot of that was by choice. After Daughter was born and I realized that the wholesale outsourcing of child rearing didn't match my value system, I no longer found any support in the feminist circles I was familiar with. This timed perfectly with the rise of the internet. Fortunately? Not for me.

In the early 2000s the loudest voices online were feminists telling me that I should be climbing that career ladder. They had fought for my right to do that. They had fought for the right for me to go to university and study math and engineering.  In fact, when one very well known Canadian feminist voiced her disregard for my thoughts on  her blog (when I was at my neediest) I turned all of the online feminists off and in real life conversations started to use the 'f word' as a phrase when discussions of feminism came up to soften my commitment on the issue. I was wounded. As a single mother I was exhausted. In isolation and in desperation I had reached out online to engage in discourse about what a young feminist single mother might want instead of climbing the career ladder (and how society could help support choices for all mothers and all families) and I was completely shut down. Part of me is still wounded by that action over a decade later.

But last summer's trek galvanized me into an awareness that makes me see that I have to go back and reexamine feminism. As the mother of a new adult daughter. As a human being. I am compelled and yet I enter cautiously. I recently waded into an online discussion of sex work/prostitution and was rebuffed, again. I was told that I wasn't a real feminist if I didn't have an opinion. This reminded me of that blog interaction. But I'm stronger now and wiser. I see the power of these misunderstandings and flare ups to educate and illuminate. And, tellingly, I was supported by others in the thread.  Differences allow variety. Variety is not the spice of life but biodiversity and evolutionary theory show us it is unequivocally the essence of it. All voices need to be heard. Not just the ones at the 'top'.

Feminism isn't owned by white woman who've climbed corporate ladders. Just like Canada isn't owned by white men answering to corporate mining interests.

As a feminist and as a Canadian, I am Idle No More.

ECON 101: Sustainability Work is not Sustainable

I saw two call outs for food activist writing in the last few days.  One was for a chapter/story in an anthology of food writing. The other was for article proposals in a well known magazine on environmental matters.

Reading through the details of both of these call outs for contributors got me thinking about an announcement that was made to a large room of food activists here in Toronto recently.  The announcement was made by one of the partner organizations for the event.  The executive director proudly announced that they had taken the funding for one full time job and cleverly carved out eight one day a week jobs. This cleverness was applauded by the gathering.  I was appalled.

I had seen the advertisement for the eight (identical) part-time positions.  The position demanded a wide range of skills and talents but only offered $15/hour with no benefits (unless you count TTC tokens and lunch every second week) and for only eight hours on that one day.  The contract was for only six months with no guarantee of renewal.  And oh yeah, you had to be a welfare recipient.  So that means that this clever NGO took a job originally intended as one decently paid full time position and created eight ridiculously underpaid jobs out of it.

Underpaid you ask?  Doing the math:  8 hours/day one day a week for 6 months = $3120. If you multiply that amount by 8 for the number of part time positions they created then you get $24960.  So the original grant was for one full time job that would have earned one person $24,960 for six months.  That full time worker would have had benefits and taken home less than that but still it is recognized that this is a living wage and values the wide set of skills necessary for the advertised position.  So back to the eight people who were'lucky' enough to land one of the new part time jobs.  The before tax low income cut off (LICO) line (based on 2006 data) for a single person the city of Toronto is $22,637 and for a family of two is $28,182. Even if each of these people were able to land similar jobs for the other four days of the week - which you and I both know is extremely unlikely, their equivalent earnings would only be $3120 x 5 = $15,600 which is marginally better than the LICO for a single person and pretty close to the LICO for a two person household.  And just because TTC tokens and an occasional meal are thrown in doesn't make the reality of the meager income any more attractive.

At the end of another recent event I volunteered at, every single person from the participating organizations was called out and asked to stand to receive applause as thank-you for their efforts for arranging the event. All of the people asked to stand were getting paid by their own NGOs to organize the event. At the very end of the long list of people called and asked to stand, the MC for the event mumbled "And oh yes, the volunteers too" and didn't ask us to stand but merely started clapping and the audience weakly joined along while also rising from their seats hurrying to get out of the hall (it had been a long day and the long list of contributors and clapping was unnecessary).

Both of the call out for food activist writing submissions I mentioned at the beginning of this post had a token honorarium offered in lieu of a meaningful payment.  A payment that values the work of writing.  In reading these announcements I was also reminded of the truism: the rich get richer.  For surely the only people writing for these type of outfits (Huffington Post being the classic example) are people with decent jobs, businesses or cushy retirements.  Officially, in Toronto, for a single person, that would be a job that earns at least $22,637 (using very old 2005 data).  Anybody else that takes on these kind of positions ($15/hour or token honorariums) is not realizing that by accepting these types of opportunities they are contributing to an unsustainable world.  Not in the climate change way but in the economic change kind of way.

Women have historically been the volunteers.  The ones whose often back breaking work is not valued.  The new economic reality is that now not only women are doing slave type labour but also students and the long term unemployed.  The people desperate for the crust of a loaf of bread  - to toss a Dickensian metaphor out there.  Earning under $22,637 in the city of Toronto is the seemingly new normal in the activist circles I move in.  Applauding the people who manage to earn (significantly) more than that and those that dream up clever ways to perpetuate poverty is ironic in rooms filled with people that publicly pledge allegiance and work towards food justice and food policy change making.

The food justice community in Toronto, with their offerings of meager dollars for work that wants to eradicate food poverty, seems to be part of the problem and not the solution.

Harsh?  Please offer your feedback.

I'd like to see evidence that at least one other person concurs with my observations and conclusions.

All the Rage

The other night Mama D asked me if I was a Raging Granny after I inquired as to whether she was one (she was with a woman who I know is a Raging Granny).  She said:  "Yes, Are you?"

As a 45 year old woman with a child just graduated high school my cultural conditioning told me to be offended.  Inside, my thought immediately was:  "Do I look that old?"  But I merely mumbled, um, no, and our conversation took off from there.

She is a fascinating individual:  edgy and intensely humourous. After talking with her awhile, I felt like I was allowed entrance to her widely extended clan.  This woman emanates a sense of clan felt only rarely in my life.  My high school drama teacher also had this type of aura about her and I believe today that this is why all of us former drama geeks still feel a connection beyond the facebook poking and posting.  I envision Mama D going around and gathering fellow clan members into her fold...a long trail of other gathered clan members behind her and myself being the latest in her trailblazing harvest.  Me:  the newbie with cotton wool in my ears that is ready to be yanked out and replaced with vaults of unknown wisdom that will enrich and disrupt my current life paradigms. That is what meeting Mama D felt like to me and I look forward to her teachings.

Of course, the first lesson she has taught me is that despite my knee jerk response to her question, there is no doubt in my mind that I'm a Raging Granny.  So I guess I'm Toronto's newest and possibly youngest Raging Granny.  Biologically I am definitely of an age where I could be one.  And these women are seriously cool so you're darn right that I want to be one.

As a group, the Raging Grannies are known to be a tricky bunch.  You never know what these women will be up to next.  Ever since their debut as an activist movement in the wild west of British Columbia in the late 1980s they make news using delightful songs and public performances that tend to really shake up things. Check out the Florida Raging Grannies parody on the republican uterus controversary (done in 2011 but we could update it and use the word vagina after the recent Lisa Brown abortion debate in Michigan fiasco). But they are not only about song. For example, check out the Montreal Raging Grannies calendar to raise funds to make a film of the groups 25 year long 'herstory'.  Their formula for success seems to be take an issue, create something to mock it, dress appropriately, gather together and perform.


I leave you with a performance by Mama D that removed whatever doubt I had about my declaration of being Toronto's newsest Raging Granny.  If Raging Grannies get to do cool stuff like this, you're darn right I wanna be in on it.  You can buy her CD here.

Words are not Wordz

Lately I find I often grapple with the words to describe things.

For example, I worked long and hard on this sentence:  "The idyllic days of youth are more closely strung together whilst in our elder years the moments are."


I intended the quoted sentence to be a central theme to a blog post and I guess it is but not in the way I had originally jotted down my thoughts.


And that's the gist of this post.  Words are often not used as they were originally intended.  This post is going to be about two particular words that are pervasive in our culture and have acquired meaning beyond their original one.  I am not going to name them as yet because I'd like my thoughts to be digested before evoking a reaction from you, dear reader.


When Daughter was around six years of age we had our first meaningful sex education moment.  I think she already knew the birds and the bees (or birds and birds or bees and bees, I've been quite liberal in my approach to these issues, much to her chagrin as she got older).  I think she had probably just discovered, on her own, the pleasures of touching yourself 'down there' and she was doing this around me, at home.  I think she was doing it over her clothes...and perhaps even subconsciously, I don't really recollect the specifics.  At any rate, once I was certain of my observations I said to her that she needed to stop doing that in public because yes, it feels good, but there are things that we do in private and this was one of them.  I told her that what she was doing was called masturbation and it was a very pleasurable activity, yes, but it was something that each of us did in private.


The clearest part of my memory of this rather ordinary yet quite significant parenting moment is that her eyes widened at some point during my mini-lecture and she said, with incredulity in her voice:  "There's a word for that?  Wow!".


Hopefully you'll think that story was as cute as a button because that's what she was, in that moment, to me.  Absolute innocence.  It is also a stark reminder of the power we parents have, eh?

When people talk of their maiden names I always wonder (and sometimes voice) whether they were a virgin before they got married.  Not so long ago, women were property and men married virgins as unspoiled property and calling yourself a maiden harkens back to that time.  So why do most women still do this whole name changing thing again?  It truly baffles me the number of people that do and refer to themselves as maidens.

Anyways.  Back to words.  They have power.  Using the words masturbation or maiden in 2012 is, for the most part, uncontroversial despite my hatred of the word maiden due to the patriarchal culture it reinforces.

But these other words, the words I have in mind, used to be ones that caused no controversy and yet in the last week one of them has been tossed out into our cultural landscape without regard to the legions of mostly silent people that are most offended by it's use.


Have you guessed them yet?  Before I let them out of the hat let me talk about a speaker I heard at TEDxStJohns, Philip Riteman (pictured below).  In the photo I've posted from the event he is holding up his arm to show the audience something.  His Auschwitz tattoo.  His permanent reminder of the horror of losing each member of his immediate and most of his extended family.  His tale was powerful.  It took him forty years to tell his story, the pain was that great.  He choked up numerous times during his talk and it humbled each of us in attendance, I'm sure.  He put it best:  "Each of you live in heaven."


Now imagine Mr. Riteman attending a stand up comedy show and the comedien saying "some very generalizing and declarative statements about nazis always being funny."  Imagine Mr. Riteman then shouting out from the audience: "Actually, nazi jokes are never funny."  Would the comedian responding with "Wouldn't it be funny if that guy got taken by nazis.  Like right now.  And his whole family too." get a laugh out of the crowd?


Is that funny?  To anyone?  Would it be funny if he was not a holocaust survivor?  Why?  


A comedian in the States thought that using the word rape in almost the exact same context this week was appropriate and his attack was met with laughter. Note that I have no idea if the person who shouted out from the crowd has been a rape victim.  And I don't care.  I applaud her actions and hope that I would be as brave in a similar situation.  The ensuing 'controversy' over this guy's remarks (and the number of supporters he has) has made my head hurt.  Note that he has apologized.


So suffice it to say that these two words:  rape and nazi, are words whose uses are almost sacred to me and to many people that it has affected either directly or indirectly.  I dream of an age where these words will just be ancient relics of a barbaric society that also used terms like maiden to describe a human being with a high market value.

Today's culture is full of mostly wordz it seems and it saddens me to think that after the events that went down this week, rape is one of the new wordz on our radar joining other ones like nazi and feminist and maiden.  Do you have any others to add?

Holocaust survivor Philip Riteman showing his Auschwitz tattoo.
Click on the photo to go to the TEDxStJohns fb page where this was originally posted.

Hero Worship

Me with Michele Landsberg, a personal hero.

Last night I went to a showing of Miss Representation here in Toronto that was hosted by Crankytown.ca and Fresh Restaurants. In a curious twist of the universe and its gazillions of electrons, one of my own personal lifelong heroes attended as well. I am beaming with her in the above picture.

If any of you know her then you will not be surprised at her lofty status in my own story. She is a feminist. She was the only feminist in any mainstream Canadian media throughout my childhood. Her weekend columns were shared ritualistically and often aloud at the dining room table by my mother with a pot of coffee on lazy weekend mornings in our pyjamas. My mother often vocally cheered for her. She also often remarked on what a pioneer this woman was. My young fertile ears soaked this in.

I blame my mother, and Michele Landsberg, for my 16 yo daughter coming home one late night last summer and saying: "Thanks Mum, you've made me a feminist and boy am I angry." She was upset by the contradictory manner her male friends treated the females in her larger social group. I knew that my most compelling role as a parent had been fulfilled at that moment. Thanks Mum. Thanks Michele.

A couple of years ago I added Michele as a friend on facebook. My political connections on facebook had grown to the point that her name kept being suggested as a friend. I sent her a message informing her of her pivotal role in my formative years and how honoured I was to be connected virtually with her. She wrote back and thanked me, THANKED ME !?, for giving her the inspiration to keep plodding away finishing her latest book (Writing the Revolution, which is now on my to read shelf).

That message from her impressed me even further. Michele has a long road behind her of inspiring and serving the voices that are misrepresented in our culture. And last night, she shared with me her views on this awareness raising film in a manner that continues to reflect her absolute dedication to humanity: "Everyone needs to see this film."

Namaste Michele. I pledge to light my torch with your flames and soldier on towards the day when we can all stand up and say: WE Represent.

Stand By Me

In the summer of 1984 a friend of mine had an abortion.  In the Canadian mid-eighties this was considered a radical thing to do.  It involved the exchange of money and a trip to a clinic that may or may not have had pro-life protesters marching in front of it on the day of your appointment.

A further complication for my friend was that we were catholic so the whole mortal sin thing was hanging over our heads.  I say our heads because I lent her money for the procedure.  So, in fact, I aided and abetted the committing of the sin that was to prevent my friend from going to heaven directly upon death.

I now know that I was what we call book smart nowadays but man, I was a long way from being life smart that summer I was 17.  And as a mother of a now 17 year old girl I see the mirror reflection of this reality.

This abortion was quite necessary for my friend.  Her parents were staunch roman catholics and she would have been kicked out of the home and goodness knows where her life would be today. One thing is for certain though...it would have been a much rougher ride for her and that yet unformed child.

My musings of this time are brought on by my recent Linkedin re-connection with the religion teacher I had that year.  He is now a principal of a catholic high school.  I wonder, in his prior role of a religion teacher/counselor, how many young women he had to discuss abortion with.  Because he did with me.  My friend's abortion caused a major moral dilemma in my life.  The first voiced dilemma of what would turn out to be many fruitless hours spent worrying and wondering if 'god' would be happy with my earthly actions.  This young religion teacher, at the time of this moral quandary, was fairly new in his career and not too far removed from the hippie protests I know he participated in against things like nuclear arms.  At this point of his new career he was also leading bus loads of people to the very pro-life protests my friend could have faced on the day she went for her 'secret' abortion.  I don't remember much of what he said regarding my moral quandary but I do remember he pleaded with me to support my friend in her decision, in whatever form that took.  This advice had the effect of soothing my conscience - at the time.  Many years later I felt outraged that he had managed to bypass the whole pro-life debate with me and for that I am sure he was quite grateful.

Seeing his name pop up this morning as a new connection on Linkedin floods my mind with these thoughts.  Thoughts of incongruent teachings by the church of my birth.  A church that provided many opportunities for moral quandaries in my life.  Parents separating/divorcing/annulling?  Check. Not going to church regularly?  Check.  Not going to confession/communion regularly?  Check.  Eating meat on Friday?  Check. Not giving up something for lent?  Check. Masturbation?  Check.  Pre-marital sex? Check.  Shacking up before marriage?  Check.  Marrying in a different church?  Check.  Using birth control?  Check.  Raising my child in the church?  Check.  A homosexual sibling?  Check.  Husband abandoning marriage and infant child?  Check. Wipe slate clean with an anullment?  Check.

Looking back on all those life events that shackled my moral compass for years I feel exhausted.  I feel exhausted because the years I spent under the duress of the obligations of mother church were so futile.  I can not take on the church.  Any church.  But as a parent I am proud to report that these shackles have been removed from my child.  Her moral compass lies within and my hope for her is that this freedom will allow her to channel her youthful energy into making the world a better place.  Because, you see, for too many generations my family has been segued through life with the roman catholic church observing and directing from the moral rafters.  Enough is enough.  I severed the cord and claimed complete moral responsibility for my child early on in her life and am almost ready to release her into the world.  She will have complete freedom to choose whatever tools she needs to nurture her own moral compass and I will support her as best as I can with her choices.  For isn't that the best we can do?  My high school religion teacher thought so too and made sure I heard that above all else.  I think I might send him this blog post as a thank-you.  I hope he 'gets' it.

#OccupyEarth Pledge

1. I promise to actively pursue the creation of a local community council (representing 200-2000 people in my same geographical proximity...one building or one block or one suburban/rural area).   I also promise to serve as an actively engaged member for at least 3 years of my life (in flexible allotments/commitment times).  An upper maximum allowed to serve on council  might be for 10 or 15 years but only in 3 year consecutive allotments   Democratic process should  provide for the mechanisms to create and pay for this type of civic structure.  All of the numbers are arguable....the point is to engage the citizenry and make it easy to be heard.
2. I promise to ensure that Zero Carbon Footprints should be embedded in policy.  At each and every level of government.  And, in your household - use carbon offsetting donations if you cannot go offgrid.
3. I promise to share what I can and when I can:  money; food; time; resources.
4. I promise to be emotionally available and actively listen.  I will actively pursue real (face to face) connections frequently.  The goal is daily (and very flexible).
5. I will honour my body and it's need for healthy fresh food, rest, and exercise.  The goal is daily and also very flexible.

Unofficial advice for Occupy Protestors (Canadian especially).

I was at the second organizational meeting for #OccupyBayStreet #OccupyToronto held last night at OISE.  I also went to the legal workshop and the media workshop.  Here are some thoughts if you are planning on heading down to your local assembly tomorrow for 10 a.m.:

1. Bring whole milk, dawn detergent, containers:  http://www.pepper-spray-store.com/relatedinfo/antitdote.shtml.  #Remember #Toronto #G20.  Alternatively, bring maalox(liquid) and baby shampoo.  Bring apple cider vinegar and a scarf to breathe through in case of tear gas.
2. Bring very little cash, $50 max in smaller denominations.  One piece of picture ID.  If stopped by police ask if you are being detained.  If you are being detained ask why.  You do not need to answer questions.  Do not show i.d. unless you are arrested and ask for a lawyer before saying anything.   #G20 #Lessons  If you or your bags get searched announce loudly that you do not agree to the search but do not resist.  Do not carry anything that may give cause for arrest (knives, drugs, etc).  Read through this Canadian legal guide for activists for more information and advice.  The legal # for #OccupyToronto is 416-833-6137. Consider writing it on yourself, somewhere discreet.
3. Protein bars/meal supplies for personal use and/or gifting.   Consider also gifting the Food Committee with a bag or two of fresh fruit or vegetables.  Preferably local.  A reusable water container and a bowl and spoon will also be required if you want to obtain replenishments there.  Larger food or cash-in-kind donations (please see this wish list) can organize with @OccTorFoodies.
4. Wear comfortable and warm clothes and shoes.  Dress in layers.  As waterproof as your budget allows.
5. In-Case-of-Emergency (ICE) contact information :  ICE numbers on your cell.  Who to call in case of the worst case scenario.  Your cell may be searched.  Remember that.
6. Portable musical instruments and the ability to play!  Voices count as instruments!  Bring song & chord sheets!  The Common Thread Chorus will be out so look for them.  Bring your crafts too....and think about giving a workshop while down there for anything you feel qualified enough to.
7. Signs - be creative, find your voice. Weatherproof it.
8. Media:  at this time no-one is speaking on behalf of the movement so if you get asked to go on camera or give a quote by a member of the media make sure you emphasize you are speaking for yourself.  And just because they ask doesn't mean you have to. In fact, the more people that do not speak will create more of a media frenzy and might help to increase our support.  Think carefully before agreeing to anything and contact the media committee if you are unsure or unclear.  The last thing the movement needs is some angry wing-nut on the cover of the Sun....but if that happens I'm sure it will not kill the movement.
9. Try not to be photographed or videotaped alone by any media.  Group shots encourage participation.  Solo shots do not.
10. This is a powerful movement but that should not preclude the fun factor.  Being friendly, inclusive and accommodating always works better.  Yes, we are angry but we are not assholes.  This is a peaceful assembly.  We all have our reasons to be there.  We all share one thing in common --->  HOPE.  Don't forget this.  And don't be a litter bug either - and this includes cigarette butts :)