What do you believe?

I am a person of strong opinions. That is vastly different from merely being opinionated. For example, I no longer hold strong opinions on ideas on which I am not well informed about. I now take time to assimilate information about an idea and let it sprout into knowledge, As this knowledge blooms, I will generally become more forceful in my beliefs surrounding that idea.

In my lifetime, I have ditched opinions more often than not. I used to believe in God. I used to believe in academia. I used to believe in marriage. I used to believe in democracy. I used to believe in peace. I used to believe in hope. I used to believe in certainty.

I look back on the naivety of my certitudes with a nostalgic fondness now. I clung to them with desperation. It is freeing to not feel the chains of blind faith while trudging through life. I have joy in the new lightness of my being.

Recently I had a discussion with a new neighbour about religion, god and faith. She was getting frustrated and flustered about my atheism. She asked: "Well, what DO you believe in then?"

"I believe in humans. It's all we've got." I replied calmly.

And by her look, I could tell, that she did not share this belief. This makes me sad since I realize that she is not alone in her misanthropy yet ironically must feel quite alone whilst walking amongst her fellow humans.

But, in my humanism, I too am not alone. I have met some astounding people over the last few years that also believe in humans and the power of human connection. This has brought more faith to my life than the three decades of religious indoctrination in my youth. Watching their activities through the magic of technology, inspires and humbles me daily. It literally gives sight to my faith and cushions me with the comfort of knowing others have belief in me and in each other.

Time is an invention

The concept of daylight savings time has always hurt my head.  The fact that only some locales observe it, even within countries, makes it especially ache.  As a child I noted the difference since sometimes Mom and Dad came home from work in the daylight.  I also noted that at times, I would have to go to bed in the daylight (no fair!).  We are told that the spring forward time change leads to an increase in accidents due to people being tired.  We are also told that the extra hour in the fall soon wears off and people go back to their sleep deprived ways, pronto.  These factoids, and the knowledge that most of the world no longer observes daylight savings time, do little to alleviate my head hurting.

I took off my wristwatch in 1996.  I was 29 years old and there were no pocket sized consumer cell phones back then that would allow you to tell the time immediately.  The circumstances under which I made this decision was a total frustration at the lack of time keeping by my Irish family whom I was staying with whilst on a summer vacation.  Time seemed to have no meaning in Ireland back then.  I have not been back to Ireland in awhile so I do not know if the digital age has changed this cultural norm.

Later that same year, when I was back for a second trip to help bury my grandfather, I recall this same uncle pointing to a train pulling into the Cork city train station and saying "That'd be the 10 a.m. train pulling in from Dublin."  My other uncle, long before deviated from his Irish roots by emmigrating to another country, looked at his wrist watch and pointed at it to my mum and I.  It was past 11 a.m..  I knew right then and there that I had made a good decision.  The man was seriously stressed by the lack of respect given to his wrist watch by the Cork train company.  To me, it was a moment that vindicated my decision.

Humans need structure.  But we must balance that with spontaneity in order for our creative bursts to see daylight.  I wonder if by taking off that wrist watch, long ago, I was publicly declaring my allegiance to the creative spontaneity I am continuously drawn to.  

Today, having 25 hours with which to ponder these thoughts, I wonder how I may nurture that creative spark a little more without disturbing the minimal structure I have imposed on my life.  The shortening daylight hours make me want to throw structure to the wind and hibernate till spring equinox.  But perhaps this year I might find the balance that has eluded me for years.

Conflicted

After tonight's organizational GA/workshops for the OccupyBayStreet/OccupyToronto event on Saturday I see the Toronto Elites taking it over.  Under 35.  Mostly white.  Mostly male.  Many of them paying attention more to their devices(smartphones/cameras) instead of the gathering of real live engaged and motivated human beings. Many of them with agendas that vary from political kowtowing to union participation.  And a lot of smokers (wtf?!).

If you were there, you know of what I speak.

Sigh.

Revolutions are difficult.  I'm glad this one is not armed.

LBF: Life Before Facebook

Events in my life have taken many twists and turns in the last couple of years so that by the end of July I thought, I need to unplug from the greatest friend debauchery the world has ever known.  Even if it is only for a wee while.  So I took a month off of facebook this past August.

I can report that after one month exactly 4 of my 661 facebook 'friends' contacted me via phone/email.  I have 3 immediate family members and luckily we maintain regular contact.  So, as a mathematician I have to evaluate this using the cold hard facts.  4/661 people are really my friends.  I interacted with approximately 0.6% of the total publicly declared number of connections that facebook deems friends.

I don't know about you, but that's about the same as LBF.  In my adult life I have found that in a given month I socialize with about 5-10 people and since I actually do know people that don't have a facebook account that number is about correct for my facebook free month.

Facebook clutters my life and I'm not sure I can return to it again.  I've poked around a bit in the few weeks since I 'returned'  (pun intended) and I feel like a lost sheep.  The spell is broken.  The charm has ceased.

I am now officially living LAF:  Life After Facebook.  This 'new' life will include this blog.  Or another blog (I have a  habit of creating new blogs....maybe I will commit to one eventually).