My daughter was delivered at 11:50 a.m. on October 3. Eighteen years ago today.
My daughter. My only. My star.
On that date those magical two words rolled off my tongue like the most exquisitely composed orchestral score for the very first time. My daughter.
We didn't know her gender and I had determined, through anything but scientific means, that I was carrying a boy. I can be stubborn like that, even still. So when her little wee clearly female crotch came out of me and I saw it in the mirror they thoughtfully had placed in order to see the results of my 39 hours and 20 minutes of labour (yes, it was vaginal and yes I begged to be cut open but my family doctor thoughtfully refused even though I really really begged). I almost didn't get to see that little crotch hanging half out of me and half still inside since I wasn't exactly in the mood for pensive mirror reflections (refer to previously detailed length of labour as to the explanation for the mood I was in). It was my family doctor who was also my delivering physician, who demanded me to look. Again, I thank her for that thoughtful command.
The miracle of birth and the astonishment about my daughter's crotch simultaneously collided in my head and I was literally transformed from awkward pregnant blob into a full blown mother of a daughter in that instant. It was likely also the instant that the post-birth hormones were released since I've never felt that sort of high before or since. And the high sustained itself for days despite my exhaustion. I can feel an echo of it even today by concentrating on that instant.
I've rattled and prattled about Daughter here before. Yes, she is in university now. Yes I've had a few struggles as a single mom and all that.
But there are a few things I've neglected to mention and on the occasion of her 18th birthday I think it's about time I came out with a few things about her. First of all, she is awesome (and smart and funny and all those things you expect a mother to say about her child but in this case it's 100% true). And second of all, she seems to have a fan girl crush on Johnny Depp. And since I just found out that he was on the cover of the world's most respected gossip rag (arguably) the day she was born I guess I'm gonna have to excuse her nearly lifelong attraction to this actor despite my (often stated) misgivings about the age difference. So I'll just come right out and say it directly to her: "You can have him sweetie...I'll move out the way now....consider it your first birthday present as an adult :)"
|"Next": Command performance of 1st year birthday cake eating complete.|
No more disgusting chocolate frosted cake. Where's the vanilla ice cream?