What You Will

Years ago, in therapy, the therapist said to me:  "Thank goodness your family has a sense of humour, it has saved you from killing yourselves."

Last night, after a one woman show put on by an amazing Toronto comedian, these words came to mind.

This show was intensely personal and during the show I saw tears being wiped away by her son and also by a good family friend that was sitting in front of me (who I got chatting with in the line up before the show).  I teared up myself at a number of points.

Shakespeare wrote comedies and tragedies.  Don't we all have that choice ourselves?  Will our life be a comedy or a tragedy...and dammit there seems to be a very fine line between the two doesn't there?

Recently I've been clearing out my house.  Nothing is escaping my touch and the purge 'button' is becoming my friend.  I have forty-five years of memorabilia, books and stuff (junk) lying around my modest house and my ultimate goal is to be able to pack all my possessions into a small car.  I didn't even know that was my goal until I just now wrote it.

I finished my clothes closet a couple of weeks ago.  Every item of clothing in my closet fits and is comfortable.  Every single one.  And in my drawers.  I got rid of anything that didn't meet this criteria.   I have a drawer full of underclothing that fits and that I can have an accident in and not be embarrassed at the hospital.  This purging frenzy led me to the jewelry drawer.  And the hair products and beautifying equipment that seemed to have multiplied like rabbits over the years (I have 10 curling irons, one rubber curler set and a sytrofoam set!....this is clearly evidence of someone that was deeply obsessed with changing the natural state of her being, i.e. straight hair).  Daughter and I joked yesterday as yet another 2 (!?) curling irons surfaced from the depths of my linen closet items.

This purging, which is not yet finished and has extended to every corner of my house, is opening up space metaphorically and literally.  I literally feel like my veins are lighter.  New thoughts and dreams are starting to seep in.  And lest you think this is all shits and giggles, new negativity is bubbling up from deep within too.

So seeing Shelley's show last night was a tonic.  I feel like I got more therapy in a 1 hour show for $20 bucks than I did with the thousands I spent on therapy over the years.

We all need to purge.  We all need to cry.  We all need to laugh.  Will your life be a comedy or a tragedy?  Last night certainly helped reinforce my choice.  Next stop on my own journey just might include improv classes.