I have become a person that gets startled regularly by moments of exquisite joy. I just had one of those moments.
And, thanks to my newly installed blogger app and wifi, I am taking a few minutes to give more airtime to this stream of consciousness from the comfort of my bedroom.
Most of my startling moments of joy do not take place in proximity to a publishing device such as the iPod I am currently writing on. I do not own a cell phone so I am frequently 'disconnected'.
In writing that last sentence I arrived at the very crux of the matter. In the culture I am immersed in I am regarded as disconnected for not having a mobile communication device that is ON AIR 24/7.
However, the very state of being disconnected allows me to be regularly startled. Not by the buzz/ beep/ringtone of a mobile though. I get startled by moments of such exquisite joy that I literally have to sometimes fight tears back when to share them would be socially awkward, These moments of joy are like pearls from the banquet of life and leave me feeling connected to every last morsel on this planet and beyond. I am humbled and often overwhelmed by these moments (ergo, tears).
I feel unprepared for these moments because it seems to me like the events and culture I am nearly constantly immersed in are so extraordinarily opposed to where and how I am experiencing joy.
Today's moment of joy, the one that prompted this impromptu broadcast, is not one that I could explain easily. In fact, I think it could take a book or a 10 part miniseries to explain how I arrived at it's zenith.
Joy has become like that for me. It is as if my life contains a near infinite supply of puzzle pieces and all of a sudden WHAM... a bunch of them slam together and create a piece of art that can literally move me to tears.
So for me, for now, I think I'll remain 'disconnected' and see if I can ever start mainlining this joy stuff. After all, it is not likely to happen if I'm constantly pixelated and not taking in the RHRN (right here right now) world.
[pic was via a friend's fb feed and was likely one of the 'puzzle pieces' that inspired this morning's moment of joy... original pic is from this wonderful collection: http://stomaster.livejournal.com/1102877.html#cutid1]