Thursday, November 10, 2011

Whose reachin' out to capture a moment? Everyone knows it's Windy.

Sometimes a great big wind has to tear through the skies in order to clear away all the debris leftover from summer's death.  That happened last night.  There are only a handful of leaves remaining on both mature trees on my property.  The younger trees in my back yard are still holding on tight.

As a metaphor I have to say I find this most appropriate.

In my youth every grudge was nursed and stroked regularly and with diligence.  An early boyfriend liked to remind me (lovingly) of the chip on my shoulder and for many years after that relationship ended I pondered that.  In fact, during that time, I did not know the chip was so large I had to start to develop a chip on the other shoulder throughout my twenties in order to accommodate the growing pile of grievances that seemed to accumulate monthly.

At the dawn of my middle age I feel fortunate that the love of my friends and family (and therapy!) have acted like layers of spackling.  So while I do still have the chip it is considerably smaller and back to only one shoulder.

I realize today that I'm like the mature trees on my property.  The great wind of youth has passed through my life and I'm hanging on to a few of the leaves of despair.  I realize that these 'leaves' are there.  However, I also realize that they represent the last fragments of a younger self that was determined to logically resolve every emotional ache and wrongdoing ever inflicted upon me.

As someone with an extremely analytical mind this has been one of the greatest lessons learned in my life to date.  It is okay to be a thinker and to try and think your way through problems.  But knowing which problems to devote that energy to? That's true wisdom.

And on that note I leave you with a practical problem that my analytical mind (with the help of google) could not seem to solve.  Perhaps you could help a blogger out by answering the question posed in my picture?

This tree is in my backyard.
I have no idea what it is but the fall leaves are stunning.

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