Saturday, October 29, 2011

Cheer your way out of an illness.

Telling me to cheer up or imply that I am not welcome unless portraying a cheery disposition implies that I have control over my physical and/or mental circumstances.  Waking up and being unable to fully function physically on a regular basis is no fun.  And, fyi,  there seems to be no cause/cure other than the lesions on my spinal cord.  I repeat, there is no known cure or cause.  So no, I did not bring this on myself. And lately I have completely reverted to the only pragmatic solution my budget allows - following a very restricted diet.

I agree that being in a good headspace is important when you have a serious illness.  But sometimes attitude does not overcome physical realities.   This past month has been disturbingly difficult for me.  The prolonged lack of employment is like a game of dominoes on my central nervous system.

I don't know if one can ever accept shitty things about one's life and circumstance.  I think the great literary works of art (and the visual/musical ones) serve as testament to the profound unease (and/or *dis* ease) that many of us struggle with.  One just learns to ignore and batten down the hatches, more often than not. I think I've been pretty good at the ignore part and I'm a mere novice apprentice for battening down the hatches.

So advising me to cheer up does not validate my reality.  I have an illness that can not be meditated away.  As far as I know.

1 comment:

  1. It is always people in reasonably perfect health to tell one to cheer up, their lack of understanding based on never having been in that position.
    Battening down is a solution for me when in depressive mode as the perception that if I could "get a grip and then feel better" makes it all so very much worse.
    With you in thoughts.


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